- Fog Post – so full of delicacy or euphemism out of a desire not to offend, that it never actually says what it means.
- Smog Post – dark, gloomy cloud of ranting that seems destined only to further pollute the web.
- Dog Post – uses fonts so barely readable that the contents are presumed ugly and we suspect intentional concealment.
- Clog Post – cut and paste buildup of other people’s content, quoted from still other people’s content, quoted from…
- Hog Post – enormously bloated consumption of web space with simply way too much coverage of a given topic.
- Grog Post – barely understandable and rife with run on sentences and misconstrued words.
- Slog Post – painstakingly tedious at any length – takes as long as possible to get to each point.
- Flog Post – rage-filled diatribe against some person or thing that we soon forget why we should care about.
- Bog Post – thick morass of convoluted reasoning that sucks you into sentences that seem to go nowhere.
- Gog/Magog Post – predicts the end of the world as we know it, as if it won’t be replaced with anything else.
- Monologue Post – so devoid of a clearly intended audience that it seems to be a form of journal writing.
- Dialogue Post – posted as a response to a response to another poster’s post, and so on.
- Prologue Post – 4/5 introduction leading to 1/5 the point.
- Analog Post – consists mainly of a scanned image of some other written document.
- Blahg Post – even the author fell asleep at least once during it.
- Leapfrog Post – full of valid points that could be useful in any other order than they’re in – often with ‘see 2nd point above or below’.
- Captain’s Log Post – uses analogies from multiple Sci-Fi or Fantasy franchises in the same paragraph.
- Jog Post – under 100 words, typed with 1 thumb from a mobile device, checking in from an activity the author is too busy to tell us anything interesting about.
- Cog Post – company puff piece written by scared underling, featuring ‘how great it is to work here where people really, truly care’.
- Aagh Post – so fruitless and unrewarding of the reader’s attention that one begs for the wasted moments of life back.
How do Bad Blogs Happen?
Bad blogs! Why do we write them so much? They usually happen when we’re alone – sort of. They happen when the world seems like a lonely place and we’re isolated from the interests and needs of our audience. They come creeping forth when we’re churning out a post just to churn out a post, because we’re reacting to having gotten behind in our marketing, we’re distracted, we’ve forgotten the soul of our business, or because we’re not plugged in to the authentic source of our personal inspiration throughout the day. Bad blogs come from some kind of inauthenticity. Like manifestos from an isolated shack, bad blogs get their life from our own detachment. They lurk under the bed of our utter randomness, in the darkness of our personal chaos.
Got a Favorite?
If you have a taxonomic favorite from this list, you’re encouraged to tweet it @madpipe and thereby also promote it toward acceptance in the digital vernacular. Then go forth and write the opposite kind of post.
Write for your audience, write to inspire, amuse, or elicit action. Advise, inform, lend insights, lead. And be utterly authentic. Dig into what you thought about throughout the day that was helpful or constructive, or what’s still with you from the day before, and let that poke its non-evil head up in the midst of your creation. Make the bad blog monster crawl back under the bed where, real or imaginary, all scary things belong.
To get help for your business with digital strategy in general, and content strategy in particular, contact us in the obvious manner.